A Few Words of Advice for the New Year

As 2012 winds down, and 2013 peeks at us from around the corner, I want to wish you all a marvelous new year. I also hope that your 2013 is all you've ever hoped for, that you chase your dreams, and grow as a person. Personally, I hope 2013 is far more enjoyable than 2012, because my year was not one of my favourites.

But in addition to that, I would like to give you a few words of advice, to the young and the old. The first is this: Never give up on who you want to be. No one else defines you, no one can tell you who you are. It is never too late to be the person you want to be. If that means following your dreams, learning something new, changing something about yourself (like quitting a bad habit, for example!), changing careers, going back to school, starting a family, or whatever it may be, then please go and do that! No more waiting!

The second thing I'd like to say is this: Don't change for anybody. Don't change to make them happy if it will make you miserable. I know it seems like a loving, sweet thing to do, changing for someone you love. But your relationship will suffer if you do. If they expect you to change, they're asking an awful lot of you. If you change but didn't want to, you'll come to resent the other person and your relationship will begin to fade. Small changes and compromise are necessary, but don't change who you are just to please someone. And certainly don't change to please the masses. That being said, if you're entirely insane and doing harm to other people, please DO change. That's actually going to benefit you (as well as the rest of us...), believe it or not.

Don't drink too much tonight, and definitely don't drink and drive. Just don't do it... there's no reason to end one year and start another by doing something you'll regret. Please, just be responsible, don't endanger your life or someone else's. I can't emphasize this enough.

And one last thing I want to touch on is this... and prepare yourself, this is going to go on for a while in this post. Please, kids, go back to being kids and don't worry about growing up so fast. Realize what is and isn't appropriate for the internet, I beg of you. And be careful, for the love of all that is good in this world, with what you do with whom.

What's prompting me to ask these things of you? Tumblr would be the simplest answer, but there really is no simple answer. I recently got sucked into Tumblr, and found myself scrolling through a couple of tags for a band that I listen to. And in the process I got bombarded with countless "fanfics" as they are called. Now, fanfics are nothing new, they're just stories created by fans based on television shows, movies, bands, celebrities, books, etc. But here's the thing... it's being taken to an unhealthy level these days.

Fanfics have become disturbingly graphic, and the fanfics I skimmed over were no exception. The part that worries me is that many of these fanfics are being written by young teenagers, who should be far more concerned with homework and who their best friend is dating these days. They shouldn't be writing about sex and alcohol and one-night stands. Whatever happened to being a kid?

And I sort of get it, I mean, 50 Shades of Grey was originally a fanfic, wasn't it? Just look at how that turned out for E.L. James... she's a hit. As someone who loves writing, myself, I would never tell anyone to stop writing. I think that if it's something you're passionate about, you should write. But please, don't expect your fanfic to turn into the next 50 Shades of Grey. Particularly if you're writing it based on real people. You can't really believe that any celebrity's management team would allow you to publish a book using their client as a character. It will never happen.

And to make matters worse, the writing quality (remember these are often 15-16 year olds writing these fanfics) is far below what is bearable for most readers over the age of 20. So while these kids are writing content more appropriate for the 20+ crowd, the writing itself is not acceptable to that crowd. Poor wording, minimal vocabulary, writing in teenage language that seems to undermine the English language, bad grammar, and ridiculous writing style just make these fanfics annoying clutter on the internet. Please remember - I'm not saying don't write! Just work harder, make it worth reading! If this is what you want, then do it with all that you are, don't half-ass it, thinking you're better than everyone else. I love to read, and I have nothing against fanfics. What I do have something against, is terrible writing. There are some very good fanfics out there, ones worth reading, ones that are well-written, imaginative, and age-appropriate. To those of you writing those, good for you! Keep on writing! Some of you are older (read that as my age perhaps, or already settled well into you life), and write fanfic too, that's awesome. Please do be wary of who your readership consists of though! Quality writing is always worth reading, don't be discouraged.

*And I'm not saying be like E.L. James. How she became so well-known is beyond me. Her books aren't good, and her writing is sub-par (how old is she, anyways? It reads like a 16 year old wrote it...). No offense, but you won't find me reading 50 Shades of Grey in this lifetime. I'd rather read fanfics written by 15 year olds because at least the poor writing would be understandable and there would be hope of improvement in the future. I'd like to know who edited 50 Shades of Grey too...*

Anyways, back to what I was saying. If you're between the ages of thirteen and seventeen, and you're writing graphic fan-fiction and posting it on the internet, please rethink what you are doing. Your internet accounts have your information attached to them, and if you're like most young girls, you probably don't think twice about giving out your name. Writing these sorts of stories sends a certain message about yourselves to predators. It will also come back to bite you in the bum when you're older. Even if you come to your senses and delete them. You may think you've deleted them, but those stories are never really gone from the internet. You'll go to apply for a job, your prospective boss googles you, and up pops your graphic fanfic. Good luck getting that job.

Here's how else it could affect you. So lets say 25 years pass... you're now 40 years old, and you have a 15 year old daughter (or son, whichever). You're talking about the music you used to love, or the books you used to love, or even your favourite movie. Having never heard of your favourite band, she googles them, only to find myriad fanfics depicting various sexual acts in a very detailed manner. Imagine she comes across your fanfic. Mortifying? Probably. Embarrassing? Definitely. Appropriate? Not in the slightest.

Here's the thing... internet websites like Tumblr don't have the ability to stop young girls from reading anything that pops up in a tag. All I did was search one person's name and I was bombarded with sexual comments (not even in fanfics, just comments in general!), fanfics, and whatever this new trend of 'shipping' is. Frankly, I'm old enough to discern what is and isn't appropriate content for the internet (and truthfully, old enough that none of it is inappropriate for me to read), and even I found it disturbing. Parents should be concerned about what their children are writing and reading on the internet. You don't have to search hard to find this stuff.

I know you're probably thinking about sex, you are teenagers, but there's a massive difference between thinking about something and plastering it all over the internet for the world to see. So please, kids, hold off on writing this stuff for a couple of years until it's appropriate and you can write at a higher level of quality. Kids (and their parents), please be wary of what you read on the internet. Kids, please be careful of what you put out there on the internet, whether it be a fanfic, a comment, or just information about yourself. Don't role-play sexual scenes with someone you don't know, pretending to be your favourite celebrity... and most definitely don't do this on the internet where everyone, and I repeat EVERYONE can read it. Just be kids for now... worry about the butterflies you get when you're around that the boy (or girl) sitting three rows over from you in Math class. Worry about passing your final exams. Worry about what's for dinner and what you're best friend is wearing to the school dance. Don't concern yourself with the adult matters of sex and all it's graphic details to the extend that you write stories of them and post them for the world to see.

And on that note, let's all bid 2012 farewell and and welcome 2013 with open arms. I'll see you all in the new year!

Reasons to be Afraid of the Internet... and More Reasons to Love it.

Let's face it, not a day goes by when we're not connected to the internet. You are right now, if you're reading this. The internet is viewed as an integral part of life these days, and the moment our internet is down for an hour, our world falls apart. Strange how that works.

I was just reminiscing earlier today, remembering the days that I used to play at the park with my cousins, and noticing that there never seems to be children at our local parks anymore. Why? I know it's winter, but the weather has be ridiculously nice, so what's keeping your children inside? Video games, television, and the internet, that's what. When I was a child, the internet was still a budding concept (and I'm not that old, I swear), and wasn't found in every household in town, though it was present in homes back then. We played board games, card games, watched tv (okay, so that part hasn't changed much...), painted/doodled, built things, read books, rode our bikes around town, went to the park, and built forts in trees. Maybe I'm just stuck in some nostalgic thought pattern, but why are kids missing out on this stuff these days? 

I'll admit, even I spend a lot of time on the internet... and I did play video games as a child. But having grown up, I'm finding fewer and fewer things amusing, or I'm unable to do the things that I do enjoy for whatever reason. But I'm an adult. I know the internet pretty well, though I'm starting to think that children are probably more internet proficient than I am. Sad, I know. But I still read, I still enjoy Monopoly and Scrabble, and I do really love getting out on my bike. I could sit out in the grass all day with a good book, or just a friend, and I'd be happy... disconnected from the electronic world.

But here's the thing... I grew up in a safe town. There was no real concern about any of us kids being abducted or assaulted, or anyone being conned out of money. There still isn't that much concern here... our violent crime rates are low in my hometown, and kids can safely walk to and from school, go to the park alone, and not worry about being taken by a stranger. 

I do realize that that's a big concern in a lot of places. It's scary... so you supervise your children. And you should... it's the right thing to do. Some of you might even keep your children from going to the park at all, for fear of losing them to one of the creeps in this world.

And even if you don't have children, you worry about your own safety. You don't walk down a back alley alone at night (or maybe even during the day), you lock your doors at night, and make sure to always have your cellphone with you in case something happens.

The really scary thing about life these days is that you don't even have to leave your house to be vulnerable. The internet connects us to the outside world without leaving the comfort of our living rooms. We think we're safe, because the world is full of good people, and the people on that online forum, or chat room, or online games website are just like us. Or so you think. But here's the thing... we don't know that. We have no idea who's on the other side of that post, or that sentence. It's so easy to pretend to be someone else on the internet, and oddly enough, it takes very little effort to convince someone that you're who you say you are.

So while we worry about our children being stolen from us at the park, and we've taught them not to talk to strangers, do they know not to talk to strangers on the internet? Probably not. They think that the internet person is so far away that it couldn't possibly be dangerous. They don't understand the dangers the way adults do, and even some adults don't understand the dangers associated with the internet.

Young people, especially, are apt to give out their address or phone number, to anyone who gives them what they could perceive as positive attention. I've seen it happen... I've had my concerns about people that I've come across on the internet. Concerns about the possible creeps, and concerns for the young people that are members of the same online forums and social media sites that I am.

You should never, ever give out your phone number to someone you don't know over the internet, nor should you give out your address, full name, or any other information that could allow a creep to locate you. You may think you're safe at home, but they can easily find you at home. Or at work.

The internet is also dangerous if you log into something personal, like email, online banking, or Facebook, on a public computer (or on your own, but you leave your computer where someone else can access it or without password protection), and forget to log out. You can be hacked, have money taken, personal information, or various other things that you think are safe from the rest of the world. Things you don't want random people to know. Your social insurance number. Your credit card information. Your banking information. Your address. Your mother's address. Your biggest secrets. Things that can easily be used against you. Ever heard of cyberstalking? How about those con-schemes where someone pretends to be in love with you, to get you to give them money? Yeah, it happens.

And then there's the lovely issue of cyber bullying. No longer can you go home and escape bullying. Now you go home and find bullying spam in your email, on youtube, on facebook, on twitter, in blogs, online forums, you name it. Bullying is hard on people, and when it's thrust on you 24/7, everywhere you go, it's even worse.

Or those children who get lured over the internet, and then are abducted when they go to meet this person that they think they know. But they don't... they really don't. Even adults get lured... online dating sites, chat rooms, forums, online games, they're all places that people get lured. But really, isn't it scary the things that can go on over the internet?

But really, the internet is an amazing thing. It opens up so many possibilities, from business to friendships. It lets us learn things that we might not otherwise be able to. It lets us learn from so many people's experiences, provides us with ample information, and hours of entertainment. It's hard to imagine a world without the internet these days.

What do I love about the internet? Aside from blogging (hehe), I love getting the change to connect with people I wouldn't be able to any other way. I can chat with someone from Europe, a different province, somewhere in the United States, Australia, or any where else in the world (that has an internet connection anyways). I like that I can stay connected with people I've known for years but don't necessarily get to see on a regular basis. I love that I've made so many friends via the internet.

Sharing your art work (making sure you've put something on it to make it clear that it's yours and it can't be as easily stolen), networking for business purposes, and using the internet to create more opportunities for yourself are all huge bonuses of connecting to the internet. Having pen pals from across the country or other parts of the world is a great way for young people to learn about life in a different place. The internet can even help boost someone's confidence, if they feel like they can make friends through the internet and can be complimented on their intelligence, their personality, or whatever aspect makes them feel good about themselves.

There's no reason to avoid the internet out of fear, because it can truly be an amazing thing. Some of my closest friends are people that I've met over the internet, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. But it can be scary, so here are some tips to make sure that your online experience is a safe one!

1) Don't ever give out your phone number, address, credit card information, full name, etc. to a random person on the internet. Do not give money to someone, even if they claim to be in love with you (if you've never met...), or claiming it's for charity if they don't have proof that it is in fact for charity.

2) Parents - keep an eye on what your children are doing, where they're doing it, and who they're talking to. Make sure to talk to them about be safe on the internet... they probably don't have the common sense to protect themselves like you might. Don't keep them off of the internet though, it's best that they learn (from you) early on how to handle themselves properly on the internet... it'll keep them safer down the road.

3) Never send someone an explicit picture of yourself. Chances are, it's not going to stay between you and that person. Also, be careful about the kind of photos you post of yourself anywhere on the internet... don't cross the line of appropriate/inappropriate. Think about the message you're sending about yourself with that photo. Parents, don't let your children post photos of themselves on the internet unless you've given them permission to do so. Young people, take advice from older (respectable and trusted) people about what is safe to post.

4) If you meet someone in real life after meeting them on the internet, make sure to meet up in a public place, and that someone knows where you're going and why. That way you have people who know what's going on, and there's less chance of some funny business going down. 

5) If you've met up, and you've followed the above tip, don't get into a car with that person. Sketchy.

6) Google the person. If it seems that he or she doesn't exist, it might be a fake name. Or they're just squeaky clean. If something sketchy comes up, take it as a warning.

7) Realize that not everyone is who they say they are. I could (and might have in a past life) pretend to be a 19 year old guy, and convince a bunch of young girls that I care about them. It doesn't make it true, and you have to wonder why someone is pretending to be someone they're not. Chances are that you're not chatting with Brad Pitt, Sidney Crosby, Neil Patrick Harris, Lea Michelle, Drake, Demi Lovato, or Justin Bieber... you should probably assume that whoever it is, is NOT the famous person they claim to be. Twitter has a verification to prove that the account truly does belong to a famous person... trust that, but nothing else. If you get an email from the Biebs telling you he's in love with you, it's highly likely that it's not Brad Pitt.

8) If a deal seems to good to be true, or even the slightest bit outrageous, google it to see if it's a scam. Talk to your friends. See if anyone has heard about something like this happening to other people.

9) Keep in mind that there are viruses on some documents, emails, downloads, programs, and websites. Don't open any email, click any links, or download anything that you suspect might contain a virus.

10) Change your passwords regularly, and don't use the same password for everything. 

11) If there's something you don't want people around the world to know, don't put it on the internet. Plain and simple. That's your responsibility and your choice... if you put it out there, be prepared to have it come back to you in some form.

12) Enjoy yourself, and make other people's time on the internet enjoyable too. Don't cyber bully. That just makes you an asshole.

Anyways, there are your 12 tips, now, go have some good, safe fun on the internet!

Or, go outside, read a book, or pull out one of your ancient board games. Take your kids to the park. Have some fun for a while, disconnected from the electronic world