It’s officially (weather-wise) summer here, and I am regretting a decision I made. Actually, I‘ve realized a number of mistakes I‘ve made and I‘m feeling the stress associated with them. I made the decision to turn down a job that I’d been wanting for the past year. It would have taken me away from my home for a few months, away from my horses, and away from the few people I can call friends. And I chose not to go. Now I wish I was anywhere but here. I sat out on my porch last night, and watched the darkening sky. One lone star twinkling in the distance. The smell of the night surrounding me. Cool air engulfing me, taking my mind off of matters that I can’t seem to wash away. The dogs silently sleeping in their cages inside the house, within viewing distance. And I slid the door shut behind me and listened to the neighbours across the street talking and having fun on a Sunday night. The calm stillness of the night washed over me and I resisted the urge to go for a walk. And I was reminded of why I sleep with my window open every night from the first evening it’s warm enough outside to leave it open. And my flowers and strawberry plants wouldn’t face the frost last night, and today they bloomed for the first time in a month. For once, for what seemed like the first time in ages, my mind was a blank slate. Free of all thoughts and worries. Free of concern. Free of wonder. And I was returned to a state of comfort and amazement at what silence and nature can do. But then I was reminded that, had I taken that job, I would have felt that cool air and beautiful calmness every night.
Having returned to my room, I found myself listening to the never ending sound of my neighbour’s air conditioner… quite possibly the only one in the entire town… wondering why I have the misfortune of being the one whose bedroom window is directly across from the deafening machine. I’ve know my neighbour for years now, and I have never been so happy to see a neighbour uncomfortable, than I was when that A/C machine broke down last summer. I often wonder if perhaps a well aimed shot with a water gun will solve the issue.
I suppose the point of making a mistake is to learn from it, but when you make multiple mistakes over the years and realized them all at once, things seem bleak for a while. I’ve been angry enough with myself these past few days that it’s time I try to fix whatever I can and move on with it all. There is no use dwelling on past decisions, after all. I will return to my never ending worry of the future. Hopefully in the morning, because I’ve grown tired of lying awake in bed thinking about everything instead of sleeping.
June 15, 2009
Facing Decisions
June 09, 2009
Success
I was going to save this entry for later, but something that someone said today brought it into mind and I figure I may as well post this now.
Success is defined in many different ways. By simply typing the word "success" into the search box at http://www.dictionary.com/, you are given a range of definitions, varying from 'the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted' to 'a person or thing that is successful'. Obviously there is a difference betwee those two definitions... one describes an outcome and one describes an object that has succeeded. The most common definition of success in today's world is 'the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like'. When I say common I mean that if you pulled a random person off of the street and asked them to define success, that is what you are likely to hear as their response.
It's become the goal of many to succeed. To succeed in the work place, at sports, with money, and 'status', or rather, power. Unfortunately for most people, this type of success is often unatainable. No one wants to feel like a failure in any respect of their life, but I think that people's ideas of success and failure are too narrow and skewed to accurately reflect their lives. If a person has no money, they have failed. If a person owns a 5 million dollar home, they have succeeded. Live in a gated community by the 18 hole golf course? Success. Live in the trailer park with the worst yard in the area? Failure. Have a menial job pushing paper where no one knows your name, but your family and you can comfortably go on a trip each year? Failure. You're a failure because no one knows your name. Because you are not of 'status'.
In my opinion, the best definition of success is the one that simply says 'the act of succeeding', though it is often considered too broad of a definition, as it doesn't really describe success. A person that knows nothing of what it means to succeed will not understand this defintion. However, that is not the point. By giving success the definition of attaining power, wealth and honor, society has created a mindset that power and wealth are the most important achievements in life.
I wrote something a while back, in my attempts at deciding my future, educationaly, occupationally, and actions in general. To my surprise, I discovered something about myself in the process. I discovered my definition of success. I discovered what I want to succeed at and how I will do so. And I discovered my definition of failure.
One day I'll get around to posting some of the things I've written over the years, but I won't today. The gist of what I wrote that day is that success, to me, is following my dreams and passions. As far as failure, I stated
The key to success is not to be better than everyone else, but to be the best you can be. You have to pick your success, what it is that matters to you. Happiness is what matters to me, but I also know that a lot of people just want that wealth, that power, and that status. So I suppose my point is that the definition of success is specific to each and every person. The one thing that is constant is that if you aren't trying to be the best that you can be, you aren't succeeding... settling is not success. So I repeat, the best definition of success is 'the act of succeeding', as useless as that definition really is.
So what is success to you? What matters to you?
Success is defined in many different ways. By simply typing the word "success" into the search box at http://www.dictionary.com/, you are given a range of definitions, varying from 'the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted' to 'a person or thing that is successful'. Obviously there is a difference betwee those two definitions... one describes an outcome and one describes an object that has succeeded. The most common definition of success in today's world is 'the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like'. When I say common I mean that if you pulled a random person off of the street and asked them to define success, that is what you are likely to hear as their response.
It's become the goal of many to succeed. To succeed in the work place, at sports, with money, and 'status', or rather, power. Unfortunately for most people, this type of success is often unatainable. No one wants to feel like a failure in any respect of their life, but I think that people's ideas of success and failure are too narrow and skewed to accurately reflect their lives. If a person has no money, they have failed. If a person owns a 5 million dollar home, they have succeeded. Live in a gated community by the 18 hole golf course? Success. Live in the trailer park with the worst yard in the area? Failure. Have a menial job pushing paper where no one knows your name, but your family and you can comfortably go on a trip each year? Failure. You're a failure because no one knows your name. Because you are not of 'status'.
In my opinion, the best definition of success is the one that simply says 'the act of succeeding', though it is often considered too broad of a definition, as it doesn't really describe success. A person that knows nothing of what it means to succeed will not understand this defintion. However, that is not the point. By giving success the definition of attaining power, wealth and honor, society has created a mindset that power and wealth are the most important achievements in life.
I wrote something a while back, in my attempts at deciding my future, educationaly, occupationally, and actions in general. To my surprise, I discovered something about myself in the process. I discovered my definition of success. I discovered what I want to succeed at and how I will do so. And I discovered my definition of failure.
One day I'll get around to posting some of the things I've written over the years, but I won't today. The gist of what I wrote that day is that success, to me, is following my dreams and passions. As far as failure, I stated
The only way you can truly fail, is to realize your dreams and passions, and not try to achieve them. Quitting doesn't equal failure, never trying does.For me, success is trying to be the best I can be, and do the things I love. To live a life of happiness and love, and enjoy as much of it as I can. For me, that involves having a job I love, friendship, family, and contributing to society... making a difference. Success to most people is gaining. Gaining status, money, contacts. But to me, it's giving. Giving what I can to help those that need it. Wisdom is one thing that the world is in dire need of. Wisdom is the ability to see things from multiple perspectives and making the best decision to solve a problem. Most people see only one point of view, and as a result, decisions are rash, and not always the best for themselves, or for others. The point of this blog is to find different perspectives on many issues, situations, and matters of today's world. Through this blog I can succeed, in one way anyways.
The key to success is not to be better than everyone else, but to be the best you can be. You have to pick your success, what it is that matters to you. Happiness is what matters to me, but I also know that a lot of people just want that wealth, that power, and that status. So I suppose my point is that the definition of success is specific to each and every person. The one thing that is constant is that if you aren't trying to be the best that you can be, you aren't succeeding... settling is not success. So I repeat, the best definition of success is 'the act of succeeding', as useless as that definition really is.
So what is success to you? What matters to you?
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